7 Helpful Tips on How to Manage Jealousy

If you want to build a relationship with someone you love, sooner or later you’ll have to deal with jealousy. Sometimes you can even be happy to see that your partner is jealous, because that means he loves you very much and he doesn’t want to share you with someone else. Perhaps you are an extremely jealous person. Then you should certainly find efficient ways to settle down and manage your emotions. Otherwise your jealousy will only damage your relationship. That’s why you need to be reasonable and wise. The tips below will help you to cope with your excessive jealousy.

1. You Should Be Reasonable
First of all, a person who is always jealous should try to clear up if there are any reasons for such behavior. Consider all the things that spark your jealousy. Maybe they are not worth being paid much attention to. You need some time to understand what the problem is. It may take you from a few hours to several days. Having discovered that your jealousy is not reasonable, you should note it down in order to recollect it next time when you can’t control your feelings.

2. Trust Your Man
Surely, you would be nervous and angry to see another girl flirting with your guy. I should say it is really an unpleasant situation. Some girls can be too active and even chase your boyfriend insistently. Though, that is not a reason for you to get upset. Try to focus on the positive side of this problem. It is great that your man attracts attention of others. Aren’t you happy to realize that you have a handsome and attractive guy? Bear in mind that just your trust will help you to build a strong and lasting relationship. It’s impossible to control your man all the time, so you should keep calm and trust him.

3. Identify Insecurities
In most cases our jealousy starts from insecurities. If you think that those women who surround your partner, either his colleagues or his friends, are more beautiful and slimmer than you, then the feeling of jealousy will drive you crazy. Whenever you feel jealous of some girl who is near your man, you should find out insecurities and concentrate on your strong points that make you a unique person. I would advise you to be more confident about yourself and never let your emotions prevail over common sense.

4. Forget the Past
When it comes to relationships with men, our previous experience may be useful for us, even if it was unpleasant and we have only bad memories about it. We should take into consideration certain mistakes that were made and not to repeat them in future. Nevertheless, when you meet with a new man and you really love him, you shouldn’t let your past influence your relationship with him. For example, if your ex has cheated on you, don’t be obsessed with thoughts that a new boyfriend can do the same. Actually, all people are different and not everyone behaves badly. The best way to be happy with your man is to let go of the past and enjoy what you have now.

5. Spend More Time Together
There are lots of couples that can’t spend much time together due to some circumstances. For instance, you may work away, study in another city or simply you have a job that requires a lot of time. Being unable to see each other often, young people start arguing. Usually jealousy is the main reason of their misunderstanding. In spite of all the work you have to do, try to spend more time with your sweetheart and appreciate every moment of your love and happiness. Undoubtedly, it will improve your relationship.

6. Ditch Social Media
Maybe it sounds a bit strange but for most people social media is the major source of jealousy. I have plenty of friends who always suspect their partners of communicating with others through social media. To avoid numerous problems and quarrels you’d better ditch social networks. By doing this you will definitely strengthen your relationship with the one you love. After all, there is a wide range of other ways to keep in touch with your friends and relatives.

7. Clarify the Situation
Stressful situations and misunderstanding are an indispensable part of every couple’s relationship. The point is how often these situations happen. If you frequently see that your guy behaves oddly and you can notice clear signs of cheating, it is necessary to discuss the problem with your partner and clear up its reasons. Possibly, there is no need for you to worry about his behavior and you will come to a common agreement. Clarifying the situation is a wonderful way to stop your jealousy.

In conclusion I would like to say that jealousy is one of those factors that can ruin your relationship, especially if this feeling is uncontrolled. Thus, you should learn to manage your emotions and feelings. Remember that you should be patient and think thoroughly before you start arguing with your man. Are you a jealous person? Do you often have quarrels with your partner because of jealousy? How do you usually cope with the problem?

7 Ways to Identify a Negative Person

It’s not necessary to have special gifts to identify a negative person. There are many negative people, so you should know that the experience of communicating and dealing with such personalities can be quite depressing. You’d better take advises from positive and emotionally strong people and avoid negative ones. Here are a few ways to identify a negative person.

1. Negative vision of the world
It seems that harsh realities of life are chasing negative people all the time. They tend to harp on the bad things and ignore positive stuff. Such person is a pro at exaggerating issues they are facing. Nothing can make such people happy and they like to wallow in being miserable. The good grasp of gratitude is not typical of them. Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. For example, my friend can turn into a victim whenever we talk about health.

2. They expect the worst
A negative person is always ready to face the worst in their life. According to their outlook, positive things just pass them by. Their critical vision of the world dooms them to suffer from constant fear of negativity. It is necessary to worry how to prevent the worst from occurring, but positive thinking is not their cup of tea.

3. Chronic victims
Negative people are chronically unhappy, no matter their circumstances or situation. They drain your mind of all energy. You can’t believe it, but animals, especially cats and dogs feel negative energy. You might have already noticed that animals avoid negative people. Unfortunately, you can’t change a negative person, so just don’t let yourself be affected by them.

4. No good days
Negative people are unable to enjoy a good day. Every time they create bad days for themselves and dwell on them constantly. It seems the world will turn around if a negative person breaks the chain of complaints and terrific thoughts.

5. Constant complainers
Do you often find something to complain about? You may say “Yes”, but it doesn’t mean you are a negative person. Constant complaints are a significant part of a negative people’s lifestyle. If the weather is wonderful, then their mood isn’t good enough. They are always displeased by everything taking place in their miserable and grey life.

6. Negative reputation
A negative person usually has an appropriate reputation in the society. The atmosphere around them is often very cold. Everyone tries to get rid of negativity and doesn’t let the problems of others rub off on them. It is necessary to realize that positive thoughts given out are received and given back, because they are a pure energy.

7. They are grumblers
It’s not a pleasure to be surrounded by a grouch. Everyone has bad days, but negative people are grumbling all the time. They thrive on making you feel just as bad as they feel. They blame everyone and everything for their ills and misfortunes. Furthermore, they feel better when the whole world knows about their problems.

Negative people are negative because they lack positivity, warmth and love. This way they protect themselves from this harsh and challenging world. Have you ever dealt with a negative person? What are your ways to identify these people?

7 Effective Ways to Reach a Compromise with Your Partner

f you want to have a lasting and healthy relationship, you should know how to reach a compromise with your significant other. As an important part of any relationship, compromise can help you achieve mutual understanding and it can teach you overcome the hardship of living together. Here are a few effective tips on how to reach a compromise with your partner.

1. Identify the real problem
Don’t give way to emotions, but just try to identify the real problem. If you pull other issues in, it will be impossible to find the compromise. It is necessary to reject all disagreements if you want to figure out the true issue. There is no doubt that real love can surmount many barriers. Stick to the real problem and it will be easier to reach a compromise with your partner.

2. Listen to each other
Let your partner express their point of view. It doesn’t mean that you should always agree with them, but it is important to take into account all opinions. Don’t think only about yourself, because you can also make mistakes. You need to listen to each other and make exceptions if necessary.

3. Be empathetic
When you listen to each other, try to be empathetic. Sometimes it is not enough to understand the situation and listen to each other. Try to be imbued with your partner’s feelings and emotions. Your partner can be wrong, but they might not realize it, that’s why you should handle the situation without conflicts. Try to put yourself in their shoes and it will be easier to reach a compromise.

4. Tweak your compromise
Keep in mind that compromise is a kind of agreement that you can tweak every now and then. The main point is to identify the issue and stick to other points of a compromise. There is no need to focus on a certain agreement, because you can tweak it. Try to be open to your partner and communicate freely. Both of you will eventually feel happy if you use your diplomatic skills in resolving conflicts.

5. Define what you want
It is difficult to come to a common decision if you don’t exactly know what you want to get in some kind of a disagreement. Only you know what can make you feel okay and happy. Don’t forget to take into account your partner’s ideas and desires.

6. Suggest a possible compromise
When you try to understand each other’s feelings and state what you want, it’s important that both of you suggest all possible compromises. If you have a big desire to reach a compromise, both of you should find a suitable outcome with a good grace. This new outcome will satisfy your interests to the maximum. It is necessary to suggest a great number of variants to solve your common problem.

7. Don’t fear to bend a little
Sure, much depends on the nature of your character. Don’t be very proud and fundamental when it comes to your happiness. It is almost impossible for both of you to get what you want at once. That is why someone has to bend a little to reach a compromise. Your partner should also be ready to bend if necessary. You won’t lose much, but you may have a chance to find a common ground and get rid of conflicts and live happily.

All you need is to follow these 7 rules and be reasonable if you want to reach a compromise. Life is full of situations which can ruin your love and relationship. Everything depends on your willingness to stay together against all the odds. Have you ever used the compromise as a tool to solve life problems?

Scientists Identify A New Way To Activate Stem Cells To Make Hair Grow

UCLA researchers have discovered a new way to activate the stem cells in the hair follicle to make hair grow. The research, led by scientists Heather Christofk and William Lowry, may lead to new drugs that could promote hair growth for people with baldness or alopecia, which is hair loss associated with such factors as hormonal imbalance, stress, aging or chemotherapy treatment.

The research was published in the journal Nature Cell Biology.

Hair follicle stem cells are long-lived cells in the hair follicle; they are present in the skin and produce hair throughout a person’s lifetime. They are “quiescent,” meaning they are normally inactive, but they quickly activate during a new hair cycle, which is when new hair growth occurs. The quiescence of hair follicle stem cells is regulated by many factors. In certain cases they fail to activate, which is what causes hair loss.

In this study, Christofk and Lowry, of Eli and Edythe Broad Center of Regenerative Medicine and Stem Cell Research at UCLA, found that hair follicle stem cell metabolism is different from other cells of the skin. Cellular metabolism involves the breakdown of the nutrients needed for cells to divide, make energy and respond to their environment. The process of metabolism uses enzymes that alter these nutrients to produce “metabolites.” As hair follicle stem cells consume the nutrient glucose — a form of sugar — from the bloodstream, they process the glucose to eventually produce a metabolite called pyruvate. The cells then can either send pyruvate to their mitochondria — the part of the cell that creates energy — or can convert pyruvate into another metabolite called lactate.

“Our observations about hair follicle stem cell metabolism prompted us to examine whether genetically diminishing the entry of pyruvate into the mitochondria would force hair follicle stem cells to make more lactate, and if that would activate the cells and grow hair more quickly,” said Christofk, an associate professor of biological chemistry and molecular and medical pharmacology.

The research team first blocked the production of lactate genetically in mice and showed that this prevented hair follicle stem cell activation. Conversely, in collaboration with the Rutter lab at University of Utah, they increased lactate production genetically in the mice and this accelerated hair follicle stem cell activation, increasing the hair cycle.

“Before this, no one knew that increasing or decreasing the lactate would have an effect on hair follicle stem cells,” said Lowry, a professor of molecular, cell and developmental biology. “Once we saw how altering lactate production in the mice influenced hair growth, it led us to look for potential drugs that could be applied to the skin and have the same effect.”

The team identified two drugs that, when applied to the skin of mice, influenced hair follicle stem cells in distinct ways to promote lactate production. The first drug, called RCGD423, activates a cellular signaling pathway called JAK-Stat, which transmits information from outside the cell to the nucleus of the cell. The research showed that JAK-Stat activation leads to the increased production of lactate and this in turn drives hair follicle stem cell activation and quicker hair growth. The other drug, called UK5099, blocks pyruvate from entering the mitochondria, which forces the production of lactate in the hair follicle stem cells and accelerates hair growth in mice.

“Through this study, we gained a lot of interesting insight into new ways to activate stem cells,” said Aimee Flores, a predoctoral trainee in Lowry’s lab and first author of the study. “The idea of using drugs to stimulate hair growth through hair follicle stem cells is very promising given how many millions of people, both men and women, deal with hair loss. I think we’ve only just begun to understand the critical role metabolism plays in hair growth and stem cells in general; I’m looking forward to the potential application of these new findings for hair loss and beyond.”

The use of RCGD423 to promote hair growth is covered by a provisional patent application filed by the UCLA Technology Development Group on behalf of UC Regents. The use of UK5099 to promote hair growth is covered by a separate provisional patent filed by the UCLA Technology Development Group on behalf of UC Regents, with Lowry and Christofk as inventors.

The experimental drugs described above were used in preclinical tests only and have not been tested in humans or approved by the Food and Drug Administration as safe and effective for use in humans.

How to Identify and Fix Diastasis Recti

Oh motherhood… When we enter the amazing journey of carrying, birthing and raising a child, we learn many terms that we’d be previously unable to define… Like perineal tear, sitz bath, and for many of us, unfortunately, also diastasis recti or (DRA).

What the Heck is Diastasis Recti?

From a medical perspective, (according to the Mayo Clinic):

During pregnancy, the growing uterus stretches the muscles in the abdomen. This can cause the two large parallel bands of muscles that meet in the middle of the abdomen to separate — a condition called diastasis recti or diastasis recti abdominis. Diastasis recti might cause a bulge in the middle of the abdomen where the two muscles separate.(1)

In mom terms, it is that frustrating post-baby pooch that doesn’t go away when the baby weight does and often leads to the “when are you due” question while you are holding your two year old. (Not speaking from experience or anything *ahem*)

It is the thing that can keep jeans fitting incorrectly even when you are the same size/weight as pre-pregnancy, and at the extreme, diastasis can be connected to abdominal pain and even pelvic problems.

From my personal experience, I’m grateful to friends who first told me about the condition years ago and shared the resources that helped them fix it.

See, post baby pooch and the pee-when-you-sneeze syndrome that can accompany it, are not often topics of everyday conversation among moms. We share advice on potty training our children, but are more hesitant to open up about the abdominal, urinary, and pelvic problems that can come postpartum for many of us.

In fact, there is a good chance that many of us struggle with this condition in some way, since statistically 98+% of women have a diastasis after delivery (2). It seems that diastasis can be more common the more pregnancies a woman has (I can attest to this) or if she has had multiples or already has an underlying abdominal problem.

It is also important to note that while diastasis recti is more common in pregnant women, it is actually related to internal abdominal pressure, which pregnancy increases, but not specifically *caused* by pregnancy. For this reason, men and children can suffer from a separation as well, especially after a surgery or injury. (This video explains more)

Thankfully, diastasis recti has gotten some recognition lately, and there are now some great resources that can help remedy a slight diastasis.

Since I’m currently carrying my sixth baby, I’m going to be prepared postpartum this time and I’m passing on the wonderful advice I received that helped me discover my own diastasis…

How I Discovered My Diastasis…

During my pregnancy with my first child, I continued doing abdominal specific exercises like crunches because I thought it would actually help my body stay fit and recover more quickly after pregnancy.

Turns out, it did the opposite, and I noticed after that pregnancy that my stomach didn’t ever regain it’s previous “flatness” (again with the medical terms…). I also learned from my personal trainer brother-in-laws that exercises like crunches are not even that effective at increasing core strength. They recommend body weight exercises, kettlebells, and pull-ups, and their six-packs seem to speak to their effectiveness, but even these exercises can do more harm than good during pregnancy.

After I learned what diastasis was, I completed a self-check to see if I had it. According to Fit2b:

diastasis is a gap of more than 2.7 centimeters between the ab muscles

This is often documented by a gap of 2-3 fingers in an at-home check. As any pregnant woman who has been checked in labor can attest, “centimeter” measurements can vary greatly by finger size of the person checking, so this isn’t an exact science but a rough way to gauge a potential problem.

This article has excellent instructions and a video that explains how to self-check for a diastasis, and their graphic shows the potential types of abdominal separation that can occur:

Emily of Holistic Squid explains the basic steps of checking for a diastasis:

Lie on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor
Place your fingers with the palm facing you on your belly button
Lift your head and neck just slightly off the floor while you press down with your fingers. If there is a gap, that is the diastasis
Conduct the same test just above your belly button and just below the belly button (as the gap can measure differently in these places) (3)
This video also gives a visual demonstration of the process:

What to Do About It?

Unfortunately, dealing with diastasis recti isn’t as simple and straightforward as many natural remedies are.

From what I’ve read and the programs I’ve used, many smaller separations can be helped at home with specialized exercises (these are what helped me) but severe cases can sometimes need a physical therapist or even surgery.

For me, exercises were enough in past pregnancies, though I had to rely on YouTube videos and exercises that friends had shared. Now, there are several specific programs created by DRA experts, and I’ll be using these after this little one arrives. In fact, many of you have recommended these programs in comments and in social media (if you’ve used either one, please let me know in the comments and share your experience!)

Fit2b: A family-friendly workout membership that has specific videos for diastasis. I’m planning to use this one postpartum, but there are also some great resources for children’s fitness and the whole family.

MuTu: A 12- week focused program that addresses Diastasis as well as other pelvic health issues.

The Tummy Team: A great resource for abdominal splints and programs designed to help even severe diastasis issues.

There are also some great YouTube videos that help with the basics of diastasis recti repair. According to Pre and Post Natal Corrective Exercise Specialist Lorraine (who runs the top pregnancy exercise website in New Zeland), breathing exercises and isolating the transverse abdominal muscles are the firs step in resolving the issue.

She explains the breathing and muscle isolation exercises in this video:

Diastasis: What to Avoid

As with many aspects of nutrition, sometimes what you avoid can be just as important as what you do…

Sources agree that many exercises specifically targeted at core strength should actually be avoided if a person has an abdominal separation. Movements like crunches, sit-ups and planks can actually make things worse instead of better:

Doing a standard crunch or sit-up is generally not recommended for postpartum women, especially when we know a diastasis recti or DRA is present. This is because the way a crunch is generally performed has the effect of severely increasing intra abdominal pressure, pushing your organs outwards against or through the gap, and downwards onto the pelvic floor – directions you really don’t want your organs forcefully heading.(4)

In fact, even if you don’t have diastasis recti, recent research suggests that isolation exercises like sit-ups and crunches are hard on the back and not effective anyway (Harvard Health agrees).

Diastasis Recti and Pregnancy

This is the question I’ve always had…

Since the large majority of women have a DRA after delivering a baby, and since pregnancy and pushing make the problem worse, is there anything that can be done to help stop the problem to begin with or avoid it during pregnancy?

I was unaware until this pregnancy that it is actually possible to check for and work on a separation during pregnancy and it may even be easier to detect at this time.

I found this Q&A about diastasis in pregnancy very helpful. In short, pregnancy doesn’t actually cause the separation, abdominal pressure does, but pregnancy of course often contributes to this pressure.

There have been cases of women who were able to reverse a separation during pregnancy, and there are steps that can help during pregnancy, including:

Avoiding any movement like a crunch or situp that isolates the abdominal muscles
Avoiding “rib thrusting” (here’s what it is and how to avoid it)
Laying down and getting up with correct posture to avoid strain on the core (this explains how)
Focusing on comprehensive movements like squats (with proper form!) to help strengthen the body correctly (this tutorial was very helpful to me)
Does a Splint or Binder help?

Sources seem to be divided on this subject. From my personal experience, a split helped a lot immediately post delivery and for a few weeks in conjunction with approved exercises once I was allowed to do them.

My midwife in past pregnancies and the Fit2b program recommend tummy splinting, especially in the short time after delivery. The Tummy Team website has some great articles and resources that address the potential benefits of splinting.

The MuTu system offers a different perspective, suggesting that splinting does not actually help the abdominal muscles reattach and that it may impede the body’s ability to resolve the issue correctly.

With research and sources divided, this is an issue that I personally spoke to my own midwife about before making a decision. Like I said, in the past, a splint greatly helped my postpartum pain and healing, but I used it in conjunction with exercises and had good results.

When to Seek Professional Help?

I have several friends who benefitted from seeing a physical therapist for a short time to address their specific diastasis recti problems. I haven’t done this personally, but absolutely would if I had a severe separation. To find a therapist who specializes in DRA problems, go to The American Physical Therapy Association’s website and choose “women’s health”.

Recommended Diastasis Resources

Diastasis Printables
Is Diastasis To Blame for my Belly?
Befitmom Tutorial and Exercises for Diastasis
Do You Have a Diastasis?
Crunches, Curl-ups and Diastasis Recti
Good review of the Tupler Technique– another possible solution
Pregnancy Q&A about Diastasis
Under Pressure from Katy Says- Part 1 and Part 2
Fit2b System  (paid subscription fitness program)
Mutu System (12-week paid course)